"I realized that it's not the world around me shaping, but I'm there and the world was shaping me."
Can you tell me about a significant event in your life?
My freshman year of Sage Creek, actually before and during the summer when I made the decision to join cross country and the preseason. I was in a charter school K to eight. I have never been in a public school. So I was really afraid of, you know, just high school depicted in movies and all of what people talk about. I was really afraid of going into a public school and what it would look like for me as a freshman. Then I joined cross country and everyone was just really welcoming. There wasn't any like social groups or anything like that. Everyone was just running around, having a good time. They were very "arms open", like, "Hey, what's your name? What do you like to do?". I definitely made a lot of connections, a lot of friends going into freshman year, which helped me a lot. And then, just along the way, I've met a lot of people that have impacted my life for the better. It's been really great.
Can you give me a piece of advice?
Don't be the person you expect other people expect you to be because focusing on yourself is very important. If you devote all your time and energy into others and building up a persona, where it's something that only pleases the people around you, it's unhealthy for you and I feel like that's the mistake a lot of people make in their lives. It's really important to make sure you're focusing on yourself~what makes you happy and how to further explore that. And then from there, you can find people to connect with.
What is your greatest struggle?
I don't focus on myself as much as I should. I definitely focus on friends, making sure they're doing okay. And just kind of helping however many people I can, whenever I can. And it's not something that I always do. I take time for myself and I am getting better at that. But in the past, it was a big problem and I just didn't take care of myself. It was all about helping other people.
Current thoughts/Whims
Well, school is stressful. It's definitely getting to that age for me where all the components of a more adult-like life are coming together. You know, you've got driving now. You've got working paychecks, bills to pay, even paying off cars, gas balancing, AP classes, free time, sleep, extracurriculars, sports, and everything is just kind of hitting at once. It's a lot to take in. It's very hard to just let the dust settle when so much gets kicked up at once.
Do you have any regrets?
I regret just not focusing as much as I would like at school. You know, with a balance between school and social life. I just never got the timing right on that. I always weigh one down over the other. And I noticed with these years as they're getting harder academically, I need to spend more time studying, taking better notes, holding attention spans for longer spans of time. Every second you keep your eyes open is more points on a test. It's really hard to miss a thing and that's starting to show. I have to focus on this more than I thought I would have had to.
Tell me about a time when you were the happiest.
So part of cross country was doing long runs over the weekend. I do those on my own just go running around. And usually, I'd go down to the beach and back up to my house… I was running down and usually, I stop at the beach and then just go right back home, but this time I kept going down to the village and around all over there, and it just felt really like all that stress that I had just kind of left. It was just all about me and taking that next step, and keep on going. Focusing on form and my breathing and it just felt natural. As I was running, I kind of just looked at the beach and seeing people playing in the sand and surfing other people walking their dogs, riding bikes, people eating at restaurants, just kind of seeing the world around me, and it's shaping. And then I realized that it's not the world around me shaping but I'm there and the world was shaping me. And everything I saw was having an impact on me and my state of mind. And it made me really happy to realize like, I'm my own person. I'm making these choices. I've made it this far. I've gone through high school. I've gotten decently good grades. Just at that moment alone, seeing people walking around, holding hands, smiling, everyone just having a good time, families playing on the grass. It really just felt like, at that point in time, the world felt like a peaceful place where I could just be me. And it just running through that and seeing all that happened was just really eye-opening for me
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